Stories

The ...house [last in the series of unfinished shitty stories]

2010-01-15T00:14:00.005-05:00

Here is my final, unfinished, non-proofread story. I don't really want any critical comments or anything, Just putting it up for someone to see, this is for some reason my favorite story. I wish I would have finished it. Maybe someday I will redo it.
Click on each page to see it. It was easier to keep the formatting and everything by uploading these pictures from a PDF. Thanks for reading. Maybe one day I will have enough free time to complete something before I get tired of it.

-August

Igloos and Beavers [AGAIN unedited, and not proofread]

2010-01-12T22:16:00.002-05:00

1

Adam was very upset that his family had made Cod with lentil soup again, he had never liked any type of fish and despised that barf mixture steaming out of a large black pot in the middle of the table. Adam's brother had also disliked this meal, and the worst part was that both of the boys had told there parents many, many times that they disliked fish altogether! Were there parents deaf? They both sat and waited for their parents to ask why they would not touch the food, and watched as all of the adults slopped the disgusting mess into their mouths. "I'm not eating this." Adam said, as Kyle followed him thinking of all the different, delicious pastas they could be having or even maybe cookies. What was so wrong with cookies anyway? Cookies had the source of grains and sugars, and the peanut butter ones must be a great source of protein. Cookies need to be a dinner meal once a week, that should be a rule in all households of the world, or at least Adam thought so. Adam was a smart boy to think of the ingredients like that, but quite a few children are, most of them are just dumbed down with the way their parents treat them like children, not giving them real explanations, letting them think that so many things just happen because they do, and that "The scientists have not figured it out yet." Adam thought that if all parents would just treat kids like adults, he could make a lot more progress in the expansion of his brain. Like vocabulary, he could learn so much easier if his parents would explain things to him like he had the vocabulary of a college writing professor. Adam was just fed up with his parents ignoring him and treating him like a child, he was freaking ten years old after all!

"I am not eating this." said Adam, quickly followed by a timid but daring "me either" from Kyle. The father looked disappointed, he had obviously dealt with this plenty of times. "Make a sandwich and go to your room. Both of you." The father said, as he pointed up towards the ceiling, as if he were actually pointing at a visible object, Adam was smart though and knew that his father was pointing approximately four feet to the left of Adam's room, but he held his tongue. Adam knew his parents were the stupidest people in the world, but he did not say anything. They would not listen to his reasoning, they would just assume he was insulting them. All he would really be doing would be trying to help them realize how stupid they were. Adam and Kyle stood up, disgruntled with their parents stupid reaction. "Maybe if we would have something that was actually eatable for a change..." said Adam almost under his breath but loud enough for his parents to hear, as he walked with his head down, eye brows tilted inward and his lips pinched so tight that his face looked like he was holding an invisible pin in an invisible grenade with only his mouth. Kyle followed behind closely, but stopped when they both heard their older sister chuckle and say "I guess when I was in elementary school I used to think cookies were the only eat-able food as well." Adam stomped up the stairs, partially angry at his 15 year old, know-it-all sister for making fun of him. He stomped up the stairs partially embarrassed that he had said "eatable" wrong. How was it pronounced? Adam must have said something like eadable, he must have accidentally used a 'd' instead of a 't'. He was also stomping angrily up each step because he had just realized that he marched straight to the stairs without making a sandwich, and now that he thought about it, he was pretty hungry, a sandwich would have hit the spot. Oh well, he did not care one bit, because he knew that he was smarter than any of them, including his stupid sister and he had a plan. His plan, though he did not want anyone to know due to the possibility that some one might stop him, was to escape and run down to the river to live with the beavers. The beavers would treat him like an adult, they were the same size as him, so of course they would. The best part was that the beavers were nowhere near as stupid as Adam's parents, with all their pointless human grown-up rules, and their stupid nasty grown-up food that they slopped into their fat grown-up bodies as if it would give them the needed energy like candy does. They were dumb and Adam was sure going to show them how much smarter his new family was...when he finally escaped this cage of a house and met them of course.

Adam checked the clock for what he was sure must have been the four-millionth time. It was time, over a half hour past bed time, his parents must be asleep now! He snuck down from the bunk and ever so quietly swooshed his foot around to feel for the ground. He had finally given up the night light a few months ago and was still not used to the complete darkness. It was so scary, his room, with so many hidden cracks and spaces where monsters could live. In fact he was pretty close to Kyle’s bottom bunk, he was really close, ankle grabbing range even! He was too scared to move for a few seconds, remembering the times that he was sure he heard a vampire from under Kyle’s bed. His parents would always check under the bed when he would tell them, and of course the vampire had turned invisible. That was one thing the parents were good for, they had a monster killing gun, they would always peek under the bed and threaten the vampires and gnomes. Gnomes creeped Adam out the most, although not so much when he was not defenseless laying in bed. He was so much smarter than gnomes, they were only like two inches tall. How could a gnome be intelligent with such a small brain? Adam was more scared of the vampire under his bed for sure, the real kind of vampire with the creepy accent and the big cape to hide in the shadows! He knew that vampire must be waiting, trying to figure out if Adam had a monster gun or not. Although Adam did not know what the gun sounded like since his parents always kept it in their pajama pockets, he decided to make a laser sound effect followed by a quiet but awkward "Oops! good thing that didn't hit any monsters...my monster gun..." Adam stared at the dark, dark crack in between the bed and the floor. The vampire was scared now and Adam was safe from harm. "What? Adam what are you doing" Kyle asked waking up, but still half asleep. "I'm ek-scaping! If you want to come with me you need to grab your favorite toy and be ekstreamly quiet." Adam wanted to bring Kyle but was afraid that Kyle would not be serious about it, and so he gave Kyle the most serious stare he could manage to make, which was strongly enhanced by the dim moonlight shining through the window and only wrapping around one side of his face. Kyle knew that Adam would bite him right on the arm if he did not do what Adam said, and he was pretty scared of the whole situation, he was content just staying home and continuing the rebellion against those adult fiends who ruled their lives. Kyle did not speak, he just pulled the blanket up to his nose, to hide behind it and endure Adam's punishment. Adam stared for a second longer and said, in a voice that was a little too loud, "OK, well as long as you have your monster gun, i will leave with mine and go by myself." As Adam walked to the stairs he heard a low mumbling. IT WAS HIS PARENTS! They were awake and talking to each other, and there was even a slight glow under the door as if they were watching T.V. this late at night. Adam knew it must be at least nine forty five by now, and he thought to himself how the stupid adults must not even notice that its so far past bedtime. He was about to keep sneaking, so, so quietly because he knew his parents could hear good, like dogs, they were dumb, but they had incredible hearing, but as he started to descend the stairs he heard his name. That was the only word he understood so he instantly turned around and listened to the conversation as close to the door as he could get without touching it. He could not make out the whole discussion but he heard bits and pieces like "watched their sister go through the phase and now..." and "Its not her fault that Adam picks up on things so easily." There his name was again, and they were talking about how smart he was, he was about to smugly walk away and continue his plan until he heard "It's just a phase, he'll get over it honey." He was angry, they thought that his intelligence was just a stupid little phase? Well that shows how much those stupid adults know, they were like a million years older than him and he had learned more in his ten years than they had ever learned, and he knew that he had been learning since he was a baby. He once watched a detective show similar to Scooby Doo and figured out who the villain was before the episode was even over! How many children can do that? Not many, of this he was positive! So with his parents ignorance of how smart he was finally put out in the open Adam left, angry, trying not to stomp so that his parents would not hear over their obnoxiously slow-witted conversation.
2

When Adam finally escaped to the open tundra of a back yard he realized that his winter coat was not going to keep him very warm, but he could not go back into the house because that would put him at a deep risk of being caught. Adam took only two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with him as well as full snow gear and, in his mind, he had brought his "monster gun." Adam marched down the back porch steps through snow that reached past his knees, it reminded him of how his parents had told him to shovel the deck and he told them that he would. He did not forget, he just wanted to send his parents a message, he wanted them to know that he was not going to do their pointless tasks anymore. Now that the snow was causing problems for Adam he was wondering if maybe shoveling the deck was not so stupid after all. It did not matter, if it was true that his parents had found a chore that was actually useful, it was probably the only one. He trudged on with his fresh blue snow suit that he had recently refused to wear when his mother tried forcing it on his small body. Adam would wear what he wanted, when he wanted. He was ten years old for crying out loud! He tried to step where their dog had already made a small path when it went pee, but the footsteps were those of a toy fox terrier and it did not prevent his boot from plunging so deeply into the layer of heavy clay-like snow that some of the lighter snow on top flowed down into his boots, melting as it contacted his ankles. As Adam kept marching through the darkness he found himself walking based on pure instinct. He knew that the river was close, but in the dark shade of the trees he could not seem to see any water in the distance, and then... FOOMP! Adam's face hit the dense snow leaving an imprint of a frightened little boy with his mouth wide open ready to scream in pain and fear of pain. As the boy got up he realized that the reason he had fallen was the steep hill that traveled down the hill at the edge of the woods straight down to the river. As he saw the moon and stars reflect in the river he began to search it for a large wooden beaver dam, the kind an entire family of Great Dane-sized beavers could comfortably live in. No such dam seemed to exist across the whole river and as Adam got closer to the river and the water became more distinguished from the land, Adam began to lose hope. There was a large mound of snow next to the river, but that would not be a suitable home; it would be boring to live alone. He walked toward the snow pile awkwardly staggering. He was cold and tired and now he was void of all hope for a new parent-less life; there was hardly a reason for him to keep going. Adam suddenly collapsed five feet away from the giant snow pile. Using his last bit of energy, he flipped himself over and looked up at the sky. He thought about his parents and he did not miss them. He thought about his older sister and he did not miss her. He thought, finally, about his brother; he missed his brother. He wondered if his brother was still up worrying about him, or if his brother had ratted him out to his parents. They would spank his brother if he did not, so Adam forgave his brother for giving in to their parents cruel methods. As he began to close his eyes he saw a large furry creature appear over him suddenly.

Adam jumped up, startled. He stared at the beaver with surprise and joy; he was happy that the beaver was there but had never seen a beaver this close before. This beaver was a darker colored beaver than the ones that Adam usually watched build dams. Its teeth nearly glowed in the moonlight, they were sharp and looked heavily used. The beaver was not wet, but it smelled like a wet dog. The beaver's tail was the same as all of the cartoon beavers, it looked like it had been smashed in a waffle iron. When the beaver reached forward to grab Adam he jumped back because he was afraid that the it was trying to scratch him or maybe even eat him. Adam did not like this beaver so far, with its dirty unattractive coat and its bug eyes that strangely were not entirely black; They had some white around them giving the beaver some personality. "I'm sorry," the beaver squeaked out with a timid little voice hinting toward kindness. "Did i startle you?" Adam looked back at the beaver, snapping out of his trance, and replied "No, I wasn't scared, I just... thought i saw a vampire." The boy said this quickly and then realized that he was completely contradicting himself, which a lot of smart people do all of the time; it is a common mistake. "So i did scare you, with my presence." The beaver stated, in an attempt to prove the boy wrong. The boy did not respond, he decided that he should stick to his goal. "I could not find your dam anywhere along the river." Said the boy, "I came out here to try to start a new life, with you beavers." The beaver was now looking at him in a new perspective, he was examining the boy. "well..." The beaver said in a timid voice that sounded like the voices of the munchkins in The Wizard of OZ as he nervously gnawed on his gums and clacked his claws together. "I suppose I could show you to the father." The boy revealed a confused and surprised face as if he expected the beavers to beg him to come live with them. "Yes, I will bring you to the father and he will decide what to do with you." The boy quickly jumped up, still tired but now full of excitement, to follow the beaver.

"We aren't exactly from this area," the beaver said as he raced through the snow around the snow pile toward the river. "and we don't do things the same as most beavers do. We don't follow the common laws of nature because we just find them to be so stupid. Us beavers love playing in the snow and we grow so tired of building wooden dams. They do take a lot of time and energy." As the boy walked behind the furiously waddling beaver he noticed that the beaver was not headed for the river at all, they were circling the giant snow mound. What was the point? Did the beaver even know where he was going? Adam was scared that the beaver would lead them to get lost and was about to ask the beaver where exactly they were headed when he noticed a faint light radiating from the side of the mound. "We decided that since snow is so soft and easy for us beavers to dig in, we were going to be productive. We sure love digging in snow, almost as much as we love eating it." The beavers face lit up as if he shoved a large crunchy ball of iced snow into his little beaver mouth, small flakes sticking to his fur and whiskers. He then shrieked in his giddy excitement, "OR HAVING SNOWBALL FIGHTS!" through a shrill mask of giggles. The beaver snickered a while before Adam asked him, "You are beavers?"

"Yes." The beaver replied matter-of-factly, with a smile on his face. Adam continued, "And you don't have a dam." The beaver shrugged and walked into the cave entrance, under the small lantern, as he doused the candle with snow. Adam followed the beaver on his hands and knees into the small hole, that was actually a roomy fit for the large beaver and the boy both. After they were into the main entrance room Adam could sit up on his knees. "The name's Risu" the beaver told Adam. "Adam" he replied. The two of them faced each other for a moment, wondering if there was more to say when forming an inter-species friendship. "Well now that we're acquainted I suppose you want to meet the father." The boy looked around seeing that the only exit from the room was down a very steep bobsled track. "What is 'The Father'?" The boy asked, making sure that he was not dealing with evil beavers who wanted to eat him up. The father sounded like he could possibly be dangerous, or maybe not. Maybe the father was mean, and maybe he was the one who would be able to decide if it would benefit the beavers' home to have a boy living in it. "He is old, wise even. When we had found all of the woods around our river to be dying and rotting he helped us escape our almost sure death. He came to us in our time of need, and told us that he would lead us from our treeless land. When we trusted him he became known as our father, although most of us think of him as our 'Grand Father'." Adam thought about the fact that there was one beaver that directed the entire household. Risu kneeled onto his belly and spread his paws like he was sky diving. Adam walked forward as Risu signaled him and said "Hop on!"

3

As Adam held tightly to Risu's tiny biceps his hair was being blasted behind him. He was racing far faster than he had ever moved before. Risu did not mind Adam's weight pressing his tail into the hard ice, he in fact liked it because it helped him slide faster than he was used to, and Risu did not like things that he was used to. As Adam flew down the spiraling snow tunnel into the deep, cavernous snow mound, he marveled at the magical colors flying past him because the beavers had lined this already sparkling tunnel with old Christmas lights that they had stolen from the nearest neighbors. As Risu's fur tickled Adam's chin in the wind of their quick travel, Adam laughed; this was the most fun adventure he had ever been on. Adam did not miss his parents, he still believed that they were stupid, and that their stupid rules and regulations had no reason or purpose. As they started decelerating and regained focused vision again, Risu slowly began to recoil his arms and dig his little claws into the landing of the snow tube. As they came to a stop Adam spotted fifteen beavers, and one mysterious figure that he assume was the "Father."

"Whooooo, whooo is this child?" The father asked, revealing himself to Adam. The Father stood half a foot taller than any of the other beavers and it seemed that he was wearing some type of fur coat over his body, with gloves poking out of the sleeves and large brown socks over his feet. The hood of the jacket was pulled over his head, blocking any sight of his face, except for his mysterious green eyes that shimmered even in the dark belly of the snow mound. There were lights all around the room illuminating the much taller section of this new home. Adam could finally stand up straight, and in doing so he realized that he was a couple feet taller than the Father. "I am Adam, sir." Adam told the Father as he looked into the dark hood, trying to get a peek at his face. All of the beavers scanned the boy as if they were not sure about him. "I found him nearly dead outside in the snow." Risu nervously said to the Father. "He was slowly being buried by the snow, and he says that all he was searching for was a new life with us...away from his wicked parents." Adam looked back at Risu with an objectionable look on his face, "Well, no. I was definitely not about to die, and my parents are not wicked; they just make stupid rules." Adam felt good for defending his stupid parents like that. The crowd of beavers turned to the Father, and so the father declared the next order, "Bring him away, we will decide if he may live with us after a session.” As all of the beavers moved forward to restrain him, Adam looked at Risu , who had a face that said, "I'm so sorry, i did not mean to get you in any trouble, i swear i was just trying to help!"

As Adam was being tugged by giggling beavers to his destination he looked around in the next room which seemed to be the kitchen. There were large knives and in a separate section there was a guillotine. Adam looked at the massive bloody blade and all feeling dropped from his body, he was just imagining all of the other wandering boys who had had their heads chopped off in such a violent manner. He did not want to be here any more, he wanted to be home with all the stupid nonsense of his parents. He was so frightened of being tortured in this kitchen that he began to oscillate in every direction. He could not loosen any beaver's hold. There was one beaver in particular that seemed to be holding his ankle extra tight, so he jostled his leg until he was repeatedly conking the bulky beaver on the head. It did not respond. Why was he being treated like this? Risu seemed so nice, why would he be foolish enough to let this happen? Risu must not be used to the Father's ways and now Adam was going to pay for Risu's trust in the Father. The beavers all counted together, "ONE!" They swung his body in unison, "TWO! THREE!" And all of the beavers let go of Adam, launching him through the air only to land eight feet lower than he already was, into a large swimming pool sized pit. All of the beavers except for Risu and the Father were standing at the edge of the pit looking down into it as if they had just complete a days worth of beaver work. The strong beaver had crossed eyes and actually looked more confused than accomplished. The beavers left Adam to sit in the pit alone to wonder what they were going to do. Adam was only a boy, what could he possibly do to make the Father let him go? Nothing, the Father had made up his mind, and what ever horrible plot he was devising was going to happen soon.

"Adam." He heard his name being whispered. There were no beavers anywhere in the room. This room was about the size of a living room, and the pit in the room had margins of three feet on all side. Adam did not see anyone standing along any of those sides. It was hard to see with so many shadows. It was obvious to Adam that the beavers were not very good at lighting snow mansions. Or maybe they did not want to create too much heat; they knew that it would melt the whole mound. Adam guessed that the large holes above each candle were primitive snow chimneys, letting the candle heat out. Maybe it just was not easy to make rooms in the snow palace glow so evenly. "Adam!" he heard another whisper, more urgent this time. Adam looked around the pit, he was sure he heard it from somewhere in the pit, although it was hard to heard anything being surrounded by snow. He realized that it actually was a lot warmer in the igloo than one would naturally expect. That is why the lighting is so bad, with the constantly shifting walls it is impossible to get the light to stay perfect. Perhaps the light used to saturate the entire pit perfectly, until the roof shrunk down a few feet. Why was Adam thinking about this so much, this was a horrible time to try and figure out how stuff works! "Adam, i am right over here." The voice nearly yelled. Adam walked toward the back wall of the pit, and as he got closer he realized that there was a large boulder of snow in the corner. When he got close enough to peer behind the giant snow rock Risu popped his head out from behind it. Adam was sure he could find a way out but Risu looked terrified. Risu still wore the sorrow filled face that Adam had been tugged away from. "Come on Risu, lets get out of here!" Adam begged Risu. "No! Adam, you can't leave, you have to stay here. If i let you escape i will get banished! "

"Ok so i just sit here until i starve to death?" Adam said angrily.

"No, no no no. We will feed you, you will be nice and plump even!" Adam gave Risu the pinched lips look and crossed his arms, mostly because he did not know how to handle a situation like this. He had never been decapitated by beavers before. "OK Adam. Here is how this whole process works." Risu explained, "When there is a new, questionable creature in the igloo, whether they are visiting or living here, usually only beavers live here, we always vote on keeping them or not...I just did not think that you seemed questionable. I'm so sorry Adam. I've ruined your dreams of coming to live with the beavers." Risu looked down penitently at his little beaver feet. Adam felt bad that he had caused Risu such a heartache. "The session has not even happened yet Risu! How can my dreams be shattered if there has not even been a decision?" Risu did not have any reason to be so certain of the outcome, "Well, we've never had a session before, and we have never had anyone want to join our family." Risu erected himself and froze in his stance as crunchy footsteps came toward the deep pitted room.

Like I said, I got to a point, where it was going to shit, and I just decided to pinch it off.
enjoy the infinite cliffhanger.
:D
-August

Break from the old. Here's a dream from last night.

2010-01-06T12:27:00.002-05:00

So here I am in a small town of tents. There are buildings around all of the tents, stores actually. All of the tents are dark green, as is most of the world in this particular set of eyes. I walked out into the open according to my subconscious choice of path. I am dreaming, but I have no idea. Its such a weird concept to know that all of the decisions you make, every step, is a subconscious decision. I suppose when you are dreaming, your conscious thoughts are working as somewhat of subconscious thoughts and vice versa. Either way, I felt like I was watching myself in first person. So I walked toward a gathering of people. There are so many gaps in time though. When I was finally there, I realize that no one was actually there, but all around there were people in the distance. There was actually one person nearby that was at the center of the area that was, just seconds ago, crowded. Polina. Freakin' Polina Gokun. I sort of know her from Case, I wouldn't say that we are best friends or anything, but i'd like to think that we are more than acquaintances.

So here I am standing face to face with Polina. We are like sims or something, about to say something to eachother, but rather we are processing our thoughts first. She's cute. It's the first thing I think of. I don't say it. Instead I notice that she is sort of busy, because of how she is constantly swaying, wanting to go do whatever it is that she plans to do. She invites me to swim with her. I check to make sure my swimming trunks are on. They are not. She convinces me to swim in my pants anyway. I hate swimming in pants, especially these nice black suit pants. Why am I wearing suit pants? No idea. The pool turns out to be a dinky typical family pool. It's surrounded with palm trees. Taking a closer look I notice that the palm trees are all holding the sides up. Interesting. Me and Polina swim for a bit, and then I get out, and she gets out. We are both in bathing suits now, but one thing that I catch is her smile. I love Polina's smile. I think It's just her whole face that I like. Either way, in this dream, that was all that I needed to be sucked in and completely infatuated with her. I wish I could just find a trigger in my brain that creates that infatuation feeling. It's the high school crush feeling. It's hard to find that feeling in college. Anyway this was a dream feeling, so I guess it's not so significant that it was someone I know in real life. Right?
Standing next to the pool, right. Polina is smiling at me, and I can feel myself smiling too. "The fourth law." She says.
I ask her what she is talking about, and she just keeps telling me that we have to find the fourth law. We just have to discover the fourth law. (could it maybe have been an addition to Newtons laws? Wow...nerd dreams.) And so i followed her through what I could tell was the main part of the tent village. Like I said everything was in a forest greenish tint, so it was hard to tell what was going on. After quite a lot of fast jogging, we stopped. She was gone. I looked over and saw that she was hanging out with a bunch of people. Mostly guys, and for a split second I was jealous. I went over and found that she was actually not talking to anyone, and that everyone else was not associating directly with eachother, rather they were having their own good times. I saw that part of Polina's tank top had fallen off of her shoulder, so I put it in place again. When she looked at me, I asked her what the fourth law is.
"You can't wrestle dogs, can you?"
I asked her why I would want to wrestle dogs.
"It's just what we do." She replied. I did not know who the "we" included, but I really wanted to be a part of it. So I told her that I had never done it, but I am sure I could so it just fine. She told me that if the dogs stop moving, their blood can't circulate, and so they will die. I took this as advice on how to wrestle dogs...to death. First a golden retriever came out from behind a store with wood siding. I braced myself. It looked ferocious, wildly whipping its head to the left and the right, tongue out. Teeth bared. I dove to the side and somehow managed to get its head in between my bicep and forearm. I then wrapped my legs around the dog, to keep it from moving. It was jostling like a lunatic, like a freaking lunatic on crack. Eventually It passed out, and I suppose it was dead as well. Next a doberman came out, and Polina was impressed that I had made it to the second round. I did the same thing to the doberman, except that when I was holding it still it shrunk. It died also. Polina was gone. I went forward to the spot where she was standing. She was gone.

There are many missing parts to this. Say that the earth was at one time void of water, and then chunks were taken out, revealing the water we see today. You could then take the remaining pieces and smash them into Pangaea. Those continents are comparable to the parts I remember of this dream and this story is comparable to the smashing of the all the pieces into what may seem to be a solid memory.
It was weird. And I loved every second of it. I woke up with an extreme amorous feeling in my body. It's not that I am obsessed with this girl Polina, though she is cute. I think it's actually the recent venture into the single world, and in this dream I experienced the feelings of crushing on a girl. I love that feeling. I'll never get over how good it feels.

-P.S. It would be sort of weird for Polina to actually ever read this even though it's a dream and the feelings were all created randomly. I think it could have really been any cute girl in my dream. Or maybe not. I honestly don't know. But if you know Polina and are reading this [Ethan] don't say anything. It would just be weird.

-August

Fire? (Don't feel like giving this a title.)

2010-01-04T20:17:00.005-05:00

First off, this is a story that I wrote a while ago, I still have not proof read it. It probably has a foolish amount of attempted meaning, and hopefully it entertains the reader way more than it entertains me. In fact, since this is a longer story...for me... it is embarrassing. Go ahead. Read it. But be warned this is my least favorite unreleased. I will release the other two over this week.

Thick tufts of tall golden grass sporadically surround me as I trample defenseless ugly plants. I only have roughly thirty minutes until the sun falls too far behind the trees to even see clearly which direction to travel. As the beams of the sun race across my face like the flicker of a camera light, I begin to sprint to the opening in the trees. I stand there, searching. My eyes take in light, but I can only see as much as my human brain can perceive. I do not even know what exactly it is that I am looking for. Every scan of my landscape brings me to the exact same place, the center of the sun. I can see it, the sun. It is more visible than anything else in my visible range, but even so, I still cannot absorb the full image. The intensity of the light from the sun is too strong for anyone to see with their bare eyes. Soon enough, my frantic search is over; the sun is too far down, the light has escaped, and I am forced to walk backwards through the dark, with the only source of direction derived through memories.

It's awkward, walking with ones eyes closed. It's frightening even, having one less sense. With heightened hearing, I jumped at every twig that cracked. By the time I was back in my tent there was nothing to do but wait until morning, but just the same as every other night, I could not keep myself awake. When I awoke, everyone was back. The larger brute of the group was cooking a fish he had just caught as the other three stood around the fire and mused at it. I asked the man how he had created this fire.
"It is only made of wood and energy." He told me. I glanced at the fire, but only for a moment before I asked him, out of sheer skepticism, "Where did you get the wood for this small fire?"
"It is all around my friend!" he exclaimed, nearly knocking me over with his eager movement, "Just look, every branch in these woods is lined with wood, in bark and in the trunk." I was still not entirely convinced that he could provide us with food by simply taking wood from a tree.
"How do you create the energy for a fire such as this one?" I asked only to ensure that what he had said previously was true.
"We only know that the energy comes from the sun." He shrugged his shoulders. I shifted my weight and looked at the fire once more. It still seemed so unreliable. I wanted to ask him why the fish needed to be cooked over a fire, but I could not bring myself to verbalize my thoughts. I peeked at the others and then back at the fire before staring directly into the big man's left pupil. He saw me, and he could feel my confusion. He frowned; he could not explain everything that I wanted explained. I went back to my tent, and I pondered.

After the first hour of thinking very hard about the fire I heard several thunderous crashes and I proceeded through the entrance of my tent. I then zipped it up, and stood directly next to the fire. The tiny midget stood next to the fire cooking a groundhog that he had recently caught. He was wearing its pelt around his neck as a cape. I wondered how the fire continued; it was surely difficult to knock over so many trees. To my surprise, there were no trees left standing within a ten-foot radius, and instead there was a nicely stacked pile of logs beside the fire.
"How do you persist to knock down trees?" I asked him with strong conviction in my voice. "How do you muster the strength to knock down so many trees?" He looked at me for almost a minute. I felt like he was trying to make me understand by simply transferring his thoughts. That is impossible, each man must learn from his own experience. So he attempted to give me some help through explanation.
"This. This tool that we found, battered and used, was given to us." Said the little man as he lifted a dulled and rusty axe high above his disproportional head. "It says, on the blade, 'He who uses this tool shall never be left woodless.' So we have been using it to knock down all of these trees. "
Sure enough, the words lay engraved across the handle. I was perplexed. "You mean to say that you think a dulled blade such as the one in your hands can cut down a tree?" I could not keep myself from feeling flustered. I was positive that these men were not making a bit of sense anymore.
The little man expressed through his eyes once more that he pitied my ignorance. "Sometimes you have to have faith. Not everything will come so easy, but when an opportunity does come, and a man can simply accept the truth that a dull axe will cut down a tree, why would he need to fight it?" I did not have an argument for the little man. I retreated to my tent.

As I lay in my tent, I considered its coziness. There was no fire, and no senselessness. Over a long period of time the sky had become dark, not because it was night, but because clouds had flooded in. I could see the glow of the fire on the side of my silky tent. A bright flash followed by a booming crackle filled my small living space and sent me darting out. Three trees began to topple in towards the fire, and rather than landing on all of us and destroying the fire like they should have, the trees met in the center only ten feet above us, keeping the fire safe and the men dry. I stared in awe at the dazzling performance of the forest. I dragged my tent towards the massive structure, and the men all smiled at me. I was effortlessly invited into the dry haven.
After several hours of raining, the clouds gave up and hung over us, asleep. The fire continued to burn and from the three trees dropped a large disc of glass. We were astonished. The little man began to read the words wrapped around the outside of the disc: 'He who uses this disc shall never have damp wood.' The large man grabbed the disc and held it in the sky, and as he did so, a circle of concentrated light encompassed the whole area. Even with the overcast skies, we felt as if the sun were out, drying me. I felt the sun's energy on my skin and did not care to ask why it was warming me, nor where it was coming from. I wanted to see the sun and be friends with it. I wanted to ask it directly about all of its secrets.
I took the wood from the trees and created a net to catch the sun. It was almost dark again. Every other night, for as long as i could remember, I followed the sun until it disappeared far ahead of me. All I wanted was to prove the other men wrong. Now all I want is to understand. I want truth from the sun.
I begin to race towards the sun as I see it sinking close enough to the earth to catch. I jostle my net at my side as my arms fly back and forth with my stride. I reach the opening in the trees again and the entire field is flooded with energy, I can feel it. Again I search the sky, without knowing where to reach to catch the sun. For a moment, I begin to feel as if the sun does not want to be caught. I slowly realize that the sun is only in the sky to provide us with energy from a distance. I watch the sun slowly float down behind the hills, and then I let it go. I have faith that the sun will come back tomorrow. So I walk backwards, eyes closed to my tent. I do not need to stay up tonight, I feel safe enough knowing that the sun will come back.
My neighbors are all sitting around a large fire, content. I grab a piece of wood, and approach the men. "I have discarded my skepticism, and I want to stay warm tonight." I told them. The large man held my wood over the fire until it caught and then firmly planted it in the ground. I could see In front of myself with the light but I could not feel the heat.
"How can I create such a warm fire as yours?" I wondered aloud.
"All you ever need to do is use the axe and it will give you more wood." The little man said. "No matter how many times you use it, that axe will always give you another piece." I used the axe. I stacked more wood, and my fire grew.
My fire was still not as large as the others, and so they told me that when the sun rises i should use the disc to dry my wood. In the morning I awoke and the sun dried out all of my wood but it was still not as large as my neighbors. I asked them, "How can I make my fire as large as yours?"
The man that had still not spoken replied, "It takes time and community. In time you will learn to build a better fire. With community, you can join your fire to ours, and in that way we shall all have the largest fire."
After a some time we had a fire larger than a black bear, roaring through the night, keeping us safe, feeding us, warming us, and most of all, helping us see in the dark.

Fiction Story About Fictional College. (un-proofread)

2010-01-01T22:36:00.004-05:00

Note: None of this is real. Some of the character's names are stolen from people I know. This is only because I know some people with cool names. It's pretty much entirely fabricated.

My name is August. I'm in my twenties. I have friends. I have plenty of friends, all around me. There are always some that I can trust, and others to keep around for entertainment or even just fillers. Yes, fillers. They are friends that fill the empty slots, so that you don't feel like you don't have enough friends. I made it up; accept it. Anyway, I have two particularly close friends, Patrick and Caroline. I am in college so it's sort of hard to hangout with them. I try when I can. I know that they hate when I tell them that we are going to hangout, and then we never do, so rather than disappointing them, I have decided to just wait until Christmas break.

Caroline has apparently tried smoking pot, and Patrick drinks more than he did in high school. I got sick of partying when I saw how much of a loser Patrick was turning into. I will still go to parties with him now and then. More so then, than now. It is just so depressing to see someone that you used to watch Saturday morning cartoons with get so excited about something that he is obviously now addicted to. To see him pouring his money down the drain. This is why it's so depressing to see Caroline trying pot. What's next? Cocaine? Ok, ok I am really exaggerating. All I really want is for my friends to stay the same. I haven't done too much partying in college, just one shot. Some dark liquor that was mispronounced by my pourer, insisting that I "have to at least do the toast". I remember sitting there watching everyone get drunk, half wanting to join the party, but mostly sulking.

I actually broke up with my girlfriend right before I left for college. It's a lot easier on her than it is on me, seeing how she is still a senior in high school, able to be comforted by her friends every day, while I am surrounded by many, many overly friendly new acquaintances. I've heard that it fades. The over friendliness; I've heard that I should probably snatch as many friends as I can, because when the bastards start showing their true colors, I'll want a huge handful to choose from. I'd like to just have a few honest friends. I miss my friends.

Although I was lonely for the first half of the semester, I wasn't depressed. That wasn't me at all. I am an optimist, a hard thinker, but in the end my thoughts drift towards the idea that nothing this small truly matters. I don't let anything ruin my first semester of college. After the first few days, I began to start meeting new people. I met around twenty eight new friends, depending on what you consider to be the border of acquaintances and friends. Most of them found better, more reliable friends than me, and I dropped out of their lives. We all continued to awkwardly smile, and executed unnecessary small talk when we accidentally walked too close to each other on the way back from class. I never quite found anyone I wanted to hangout with. I was invited to do things with my roommate and my neighbors a lot. I turned my neighbors down quite a few times and accompanied my roommate even less.

After the everyone started showing their true personality, it was like November first, waking up after a crazy Halloween party and realizing that these people are much much different when there is no chaos and confusion. Or booze. It's expected for everyone to drop their facade after a while; even so, there was no one I wanted to hang out with. Drunks and nerds. There were events that I forced myself to go to, seeing hot girls that I did not want to talk to, due to I was still sulking over a broken heart. I know, finally I gain freedom, and my heart gives out.

At one point my neighbor invited me to what he said was a "quick event thing with free food". It sounded alright. The free food would for sure be a change from the daily hot dog and burger. What I ended up doing was sitting in a chair, suffering through my friend singing countless Disney karaoke tracks. I didn't pry him to leave, I didn't quite know him well enough. Right as I was about to leave, his friend Paulina sat next to me. I felt a shocking sensation slip through me, not a bad one, more like a soothing relief from the awkwardness. She looked at me and said, "Jeff is so ridiculous." I agreed and attempted to chat with my first college crush. I know, it came on quick. I found things I liked about her, I found things I didn't like about her, I discovered things that she was missing, things that my ex-girlfriend had. She would do this thing, when she made a joke, where she touched part of her top lip to her bottom, but smiled on the sides, rather smirked on the sides. It was cute. My friend was finally done, singing and so I bolted out of their as quickly as he would let me. I absolutely hate karaoke, especially when I don't know anyone. Whoever said that karaoke is a great way to break the ice with a new crowd of peers, is an imbecile.

When I got back to my room, I talked to my roommate casually as I sat on facebook accepting my new friends. So many new friends that I did not know how I would actually spend my time if they were really my friends. My roommate liked to talk, even when it was awkward. I'm glad though, because if we would have never pushed through that awkward phase within the first few days, I would have just hung out in the library. He was mostly gone. He had sports and studying to do. One of my friend requests was from Paulina. I felt the corners of my mouth perk up at the sight. I clicked the white space to enlarge the comment box, and typed comment after comment, deleting every one until I gave up. My stomach was feeling empty, so after a while I went to eat at the dining hall.

Hot dogs, pasta, some sort of cheesecake. The menu looked boring. The black chef warmed up some noodles in the pan for me and asked what kind of sauce I wanted. When I found a seat against the wall, I began to think about my roommates obsession with never having his back facing open spaces. He liked sitting against walls. Well, I had my back to the rest of the cafeteria. I didn't have a chance to make sure the food in my mouth was chewed before Paulina said hi. She sat by me. I was happy. We got to know each other over an awkward meal and I found out that she went to parties. The first thing that popped into my head was that I wouldn't want a girlfriend that went to parties. It took me a month or so to stop thinking of every girl as a potential girlfriend. That was silly of me. I went to a party with Jeff, and hung out with her there, eventually she left. I was drunk and chatting with her for a while so I was horny. I ended up making out with a girl that was slightly below par, but later found out that everyone was sort of doing the same.

I felt horrible for the whole "making out with an ugly chick" thing, as Jeff called it. Not because she was ugly, I didn't give two shits about her. It was more that I felt I betrayed Paulina. Why should she care though? I knew she shouldn't and that she wouldn't because we had only talked a few times. She stopped eating with at the dining hall, I would always avoid eye contact when she wouldn't sit with me. I would eat mostly alone. Everyone seemed to love spending an hour per meal talking and making a date out of it, and I just wanted to get in and get out. I spent a lot of time doing homework, and the rest forcing myself to hangout with the people on my floor.

At the end of the semester, I had nearly straight "A"s. Patrick, and Caroline reported back that they had "B"s and "C"s. Patrick reasoned that he had a better semester than me because he didn't kiss any ugly girls. I didn't really care, for me all that mattered was finding a relationship. Over break I spent a lot of time thinking and came to my current, personal game plan of staying away from relationships, because at this point, no one I meet will be the person that I am someday going to marry. I'm just too young and stupid. One quotable sentence that my mother through my way, which I took to heart, was "Why would you want spend so much energy and time on someone that you aren't going to some day marry? If the relationship is the least bit stressful, just move on." I never got together with Paulina, and my friends Caroline, and Patrick both stray away from me to the point where I didn't think of them once all summer. I have more to value in life, new "adventures", new friends to meet, and someday I will know what people I will grow old with. Until then, I really just want to learn from mistake after mistake. Right now is the time that I will learn the most, so I want to throw myself at the unknown, and make as many mistakes as it takes.

AGAIN:

Note: None of this is real. Some of the names are real. This is only because I know some people with cool names. It's pretty much entirely fabricated. In fact I have no idea where it came from. I felt like practicing fictional free writing, and this is the product. Is it good? Meh, who cares, I enjoyed making it. maybe next time I will make something up with a solid storyline :D.

Thank You for reading.

-August

The Weird Aquarium Dream

2009-12-16T00:26:00.002-05:00

Here's the dream, exactly how I had it.

It starts out very unsaturated, in a sort of area that seems like the center of a town. There are cliffs and plateaus of rock thrusting up all around the roads and houses. It's as if the flat land was dug out of the side of a mountain. Despite the stony walls, there are trees and grass everywhere. They are green, one of the only things with color. There is a large house with a huge space around it, so that a road can form a U-shape around the back. As I frantically chase whatever I was chasing, I approach the house and notice that the spot in the U-shape holds a small machine of some sort instead of the enormous red Asian style mansion on the other side. I know exactly what to do.

I jump on the cement pad in the U, which then launches some sort of boulder into the air. I know where it is going, and though it is about to destroy a whole house, I feel successful. I see the rock glide slowly into a window that is now visibly connected to a tunnel bridge curving around the back. It touches down and completely destroys a thick metal gate. I then quickly run to the house, and rather than using a door I leap through the window about a story above me, which, at the time, did not feel silly at all. Running through the tunnel, I notice that it's arched walls hold water and fish. The tunnel is running through a massive fish tank. I walk out of this short part of tunnel and out into the aquarium. My brother and sister are waiting for me to come in and visit the fish. We hurry to the first room, passing huge tanks all the way there.

We see a massive cube with many smaller tanks made with divider walls. There is a different fish in each one with a small area to let air in. Why do fish need air? I do not know. My brother points out a fish labeled as a "kissing fish" and dares me to kiss it on the lips. Usually I would turn down such an opportunity, but at the time I thought it would be absolutely hilarious. I bend over and pout my lips, anticipating the glory of my accomplishment. The fish flops forward and clips it's lips on mine. I follow the smooch with a swift jump backwards. Everyone laughs. Andrew, my brother, then picks the fish up and when it unexpectedly attempts to flop out of his hands he hastily throws it back into what he assumes is the tiny "kissing fish" tank. I crouch and peer into the glass box which actually turns out to be a another disgruntled fish's tank. It sort of looks like a piranha with a beaver tail. I completely freak, rushing to save the poor fish that we probably doomed. Luckily the biting fish did not begin to chomp until after Andrew was already holding him by the tail. I then grab the kissing fish and toss it into another box, which is unluckily the tank of a sea horse looking creature.

I decide to just walk away and pretend that it never happened; Andrew and Courtney follow me. I sort of glide up to this huge wall of glass and notice that the area to the right of my is a large airplane hangar sized room. In the tank in front of me there is an octopus with its suction cups on the glass. There are jelly fish and stingrays slowly, slowly moving. The tentacles of a squid emerge from behind a rock, but as I walk further right to see the rest of the squid, I notice that the tentacles grow larger. Eventually I see the full size of the four story tall squid lying sideways across the right most wall of the huge auditorium. While I am enjoying the site, a police officer bursts in and sees fish flopping in and out of all the boxes in the huge cube. He immediately escorts all three of us to the upper floor and places handcuffs on me, while my siblings watch. He's really an ass because he is being overly forceful. I just endure the weird closeness of the guy because as soon as I leave I know that I will never come back, and so I drift back to consciousness.

The ending was a bit weirder than I could bare to let you know, but for the most part, that is exactly how it went...

-August

The Three Trees

2009-11-12T01:57:00.000-05:00

In the small park near a village stood three trees. Maple trees. Tree one was always bragging about how wonderfully he was growing, and although he was taller and greener than the other two trees, he was an ass about his success. All of the squirrels and birds tended to flock to tree number one, mostly because it was a better home. Tree number two did not care so much about what the other trees thought; it was more interested in understanding itself. It was a tree after all, planted, unable to move. What is the purpose of a tree? Oxygen, it often thought. Such an unnecessary product. If trees would produce something more useful, such as bug spray, tree two would be much more efficient. Tree three was pretty monotonous. All it wanted was ...to live. It did not care to brag, nor think.
On a particularly windy day, the three trees swayed back and forth. They did this to try to reduce the effect of the wind. Tree one repeated, over and over, "My roots are really strong, I'll be fine." Though everyone wished tree one were more humble, they knew it must be true. Tree three did not bend as much as the others because it simply did not care enough to dodge the blows of the wind. Eventually the leaves of tree three were all gone. Soon after, the air rended the branches to shreds. Tree three fell over and cracked in half over a cement bench.
Tree one continued to brag about how it's precious bark will never flake off so easily. Tree two wondered what purpose tree three served as a fallen tree in a village's park. He assumed there was no purpose. He never stopped searching for his own purpose though.
Another day with fierce winds arrived at the park. Black clouds raced around each other, producing the humidity that would only saturate the blades of wind. Moments into the storm, tree one began to boast, "This is nothing, I've slept through worse storms!"
Tree two nervously watched as the wind began to scream and sneak under layers of bark. Click after click, specks of bark began to fly off, thicker and thicker. Not only was bark being chiseled from tree two but from tree one as well, soon enough all of the leaves were ripped off, and carried far away. Normally, with strong trees like these, the wind would not have an effect after the leaves had been removed, but the wind picked up and sprinted circles around the trees. Tree one tipped, and tipped, until it's branches tickled the ground. One moment later, a loud popping sound was followed by crackling. The tree was down. After the storm a caterpillar crept out from a hole in tree number two.
"Whew. Finally that's over!" Said the chubby worm. The tree assumed it meant the storm, and asked it why it had never spoken before. "I could not bare to listen to tree number one, and now that it's gone, I can come out and form my cocoon. It's as simple as that."
The tree then asked how such a strong tree like tree one could be knocked down, while tree two was still standing, though tattered and leafless.
"You... you have very deep roots. You don't spend all of your time showing off with height and greenery like tree one. You survived because you were prepared internally. And your roots. Your roots are deep, did I mention that?" The caterpillar then began to create it's cocoon, and yawned.
"So you are saying that I am stronger because I spent more time growing my roots?" Tree one stated rather than asked.
"What else could it have been?" The caterpillar stretched all of its arms, and cracked its neck. "I was in there. I could feel you grasping your place in the earth. Wise." The caterpillar then paused, and finished building his cocoon to let the tree think for a moment. "Time spent thinking is time spent growing. Time could not be better spent." The caterpillar then crawled into it's cocoon and fell back over a branch to sleep and to change.

I needed an outlet, so I created this story. I wrote it in a half hour, so do not criticize.
Differential equations test in the morning! BAH!

The Green Balloon

2009-03-26T15:55:00.011-04:00

Bookmark this and read it later if you want :)

Before we get into anything to serious, I think we should take this slow. By we I mean you the reader, and I the magnificent story telling genius. No, wait. I need to be more humble.

I was walking down the stairs, on my way to class when i saw a sign with the headline "Cedar [that's my residential college team division thing] Short Story Contest!"

I read on and it had to be under 1000 words as well as written about a stupid picture. I thought, eh not worth it.

The next day Curt and I were walking to lunch and saw the sign again. Curt paused before telling me that we should enter it so he could kick my ass. I told him lets do it. I feel that for some reason i would beat him, maybe my ego is too big but I seriously enjoy my writing. If I thought I sucked, why would i be subjecting you to this torture? hehe.

The poster had the worst idea, it restricted us to writing a story about this picture:

Yea I know, seriously? Here are some alternatives to reading online:
GreenBalloon.Pdf
Print and read!

otherwise, here you go:

The Green Balloon

Four nut collectors once lived in a tree together. Well no. Correction, they tolerated each other in a tree together. Greg liked to live on the highest branch, right at the top of the tree, where there were hardly any leaves. It was his branch. Greg could not tolerate the others if they could not keep their little curious, tempted paws off his branch. Terry, Blake and Jerome all lived lower down. They could handle others touching their property, enough so to not go on rampages. From the lower branches they could watch the travelers move below them. They liked to play on the branches and watch the travelers. Greg did not like this, got aggravated, and yelled down in his slow deep voice “SHUT! UP!”

Greg would get so angry that he would stop in the middle of his run-on sentences, “YOU GUYS NEVER STOP AND YOU MAKE ME SO MAD AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW SLEEP DEPRIVED YOU MAKE ME AND YOU PIECES OF SHRRRRHHHAAAAHHHHH!”, spitting and ranting, to run around in circles aimlessly attempting to display his anger in a physical form. None of the others liked this, so they would completely ignore him, they knew that this was the best way to fire him up more than he already was. One day Greg was trying to decide which nut to eat when he overheard the others giggling about something on the ground. How the heck was Greg supposed to think when there was all this talking going on? And how much good is this talking doing? None, it was gossip and gossip was actually negative good. Gossip, in Greg’s mind was bad. It was even worse because, with this bad that it was doing, there was more bad being done in that he could not decide anything when they were always giggling and laughing in their little flamboyant squirrely voices.

The conversation below was due to Terry seeing a little boy with an opaque green balloon; Terry loved green, it was his favorite color. He became so giddy from the sight of the balloon that the others were infected and began to laugh uncontrollably. They rolled on their backs with their paws at their mouths trying to hold in the giggles and tears. Greg was exhausted because Blake spent all night telling stupid lies about how he had met up with females from a popular networking tree and how they turned out to be so much hotter in person. Since Greg lives up where the leaves do not grow thick, sunlight could shine straight through. Therefore he was sleep deprived when the sun was out.

When the squirrels from the low branches could not stop their laughing, Greg burst out “I! CANNOT! HANDLE!” He shouted every word as if it were a separate sentence. “YOU! GUYS! ANY! M!” Greg was cut off by a twist of ankle and fell down. All the way down. Greg was dazed for a moment. He could see a boy’s face and a green dot spinning. The next thing he knew, a string wrapped around his neck and a green balloon floated above him. Both the balloon and the boy hovered waiting for him to recover. The mother yelled at the boy saying that Greg was a wild animal and he could have diseases. This made Greg more angry than he was. He did not particularly remember what made him so angry before nor how angry he was, but he definitely knew that he was probably more mad now. He darted back to the top of the tree and got wrenched back just before he reached his branch. The low-branch squirrels were in agony from the pain their laughter was causing. Seeing the angry squirrel being jerked back by Terry’s favorite balloon was almost too much comedy for them to manage. When Greg fell, he fell three feet past the green balloon. He was choked upward violently as the green balloon found a fork in a branch to perch in.

The average squirrel would have stopped laughing at this point but Terry, Blake, and Jerome could not resist this delightful occasion. Greg fidgeted and twisted for oxygen and then stopped squirming. When Greg was no longer gasping for breaths the squirrels halted thier chuckling. They all thought about what to say, all they knew were jokes, and this was not a time for jokes. They did not like Greg. They actually disliked Greg, but he lived with them. Greg was their treemate and therefore their family. The low-branch squirrels loved their neighbor as a family member.

The squirrels then straightened up and dropped like stones. They all landed in front of the boy who then ran to them and shouted back to his mother “See mom? They won’t hurt me.” The squirrels each took out their light sabers and the boy screamed like a prepubescent boy would scream. The squirrels first began by slicing through his shins and then progressed up the body as it began to collapse. The mother ran away shrieking and crying. As the squirrels ripped away at the boys empty body they held back tears, and for once these were not tears of laughter, but tears of sorrow. The squirrels celebrated their triumph at the trunk and skittered back up it to make their new home of mid-tree luxury.

What's Up homeless man.

2009-01-29T12:23:00.001-05:00

Greenies are these blue buses that used to be green a few years ago, until the design of them changed. Usually a Case student will wait for a greenie for forty minutes instead of taking the 20 minute walk to class. Greenies suck at picking kids up every twenty three minutes consistently. Because of this i never usually ride greenies; I never have the luck to catch one. So anyway, I saw this greenie pull up right next to me as i walked up to the magnificent art museum doors. I failed to open them...Of course, the museum is closed on Mondays. It must be, i mean the museum would not look too great if the hours were stamped on the glass door like a local barber shop. I cannot blame the museum for leaving the doors in their blank state, it's pretty classy. I noticed that the greenie driver was outside of his bus, taking a break. I went around the front of the bus and asked him several times if this particular bus was going to follow the north loop, as he stood in the same place telling me that he could not hear me. Eventually i walked over close enough and he assured me that he was driving the north loop. The north loop brings me straight to the north village, where my dorms are, which i could nearly see from where i was because it was not far away. I got into the bus and sat on the left side, one seat behind a student who was on the right side. I am not sure why i chose such a seat, but i remember thinking about it as the engine began to growl at our bus driver's sluggish foot against the gas pedal. Did i sit there for a reason?

X-me
x-her
BB-Bus Driver

BB
00 00
00 0x
0X 00
00 00
00 00

I want the upper hand, i want to have a view of this person, even if it's a harmless girl. Not necessarily to see if this girl is cute, but because i would rather view than be viewed. I am not sure if that is a normal human function or defense, but i always like to have as much control over small things like that; Maybe it could be useful. For instance, Maybe i have a booger in my nose, and i absolutely NEED to pick it, i want to be behind this girl for two reasons, so she cannot see me, and so i can see that she cannot see me at all times. If i was in front of her and this urge came upon me, i would be sitting there turning my head trying to check if she is looking, and even if i did find a time where she is looking far enough in another direction, she would still probably see me out of the corner of her eyes.

I sat down in my seat and watched the scenery of Cleveland flow past me through the window. As we passed the natural history museum, i wondered why i had never noticed that there was a natural history museum so close to my dorms. The dinosaur in front was coolio. Anyway we arrived at this trashy factory or office building of some sort. There were people smoking outside and three men waiting for the greenie. I thought that only students could ride the greenies. Oh well. The first man boarded the bus and sat in the back, the other two men stayed put. The man smelled strongly of cigarettes. Disgusting. I am not used to smelling smoke on campus, its such a nasty smell when you have not smelled it in a while. As we drove even further away from my housing complex, we pulled up to a bus stop on a corner. There were again three men. Accompanying the African American man were two women and two children, a family? Question mark? Everyone got on, each person getting their own row. The two Caucasian homeless men were having a loud conversation as they climbed the stairs of the bus. "An' he said Whats up." The first man said.

"Whats up? you mean like in a mean way?" The second man asked.

"Yea, like Whats up, whats up with you, whats wrong with you? You wanna fight?" The first man told him.

"He wants to fight you?" The second man asked, fearful.

"Yea, he wanted to fight me. That's what kids mean when they say stuff like that!" The first man said, as if he was the master of all teenage knowledge.

I could not help overhearing this conversation, for one because it sounded serious, for two because i found it hilarious, and for three, because these guys were talking loud enough for pedestrians on the street to hear them! "Do you see 'I'm a lot?" the second man asked.

"Nah but he does come." The first man said.

"Well if he comes again, I'll have to give him a fight! I'll get your back. Two on one is safe." The second man said, which sort of scared me. At the same time i could tell that these guys were big talkers, and they were the type of guys with nothing better to do but ride the bus, getting kids reactions from crazy stories. I stored away the conversation in my memory, knowing that i wanted to tell people, as a joke or conversation continuer. I got off the bus by my dorms, and looked toward the art museum. There it was in all of its glory, just standing there, viewable from the dorm, easy walking distance. I might add my sketch of the painting when i have turned it in and stuff. It took me hours, and still is not even great, oh well.

-August

Dream numero dos, crazy amusement park.

2009-01-10T02:10:00.000-05:00

Here is a PDF version of the story if you would like to download and print it...or Amazon Kindle it. CRAZY AMUSEMENT PARK .PDF

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Unaware that I am not in the real world, I just accept the fact that I am in a strange hill strewn valley that has been plastered with every type of roller coaster and water slide that i have ever seen, plus more. As I walk forward wondering how to get out, because i so desperately need to get out, i take into account three things and think about them logically, as i would in the real world. First of all, it is night time, which should mean that this wonderful amusement park is closed, but strangely enough, it feels like there is too much magic flowing through it for it to be naturally shimmering in the dark. Secondly There is a person walking with me, who i assume to be the person who got me into some kind of massive trouble by coming into this park, although due to the third thing, which is an intense need to escape as quickly as possible, I feel that i should not question this faceless friend and i should just keep walking and searching. I did not know what we were searching for, but i knew it would just suck away our precious time that was needed to escape this wonderland if i were to ask what we were doing, plus my friend would think i had Alzheimer's if i asked what we were doing as if i had blacked what seemed to be such an intense portion of time, i mean i must have snuck into this amusement park, right? I just kept walking, looking at the hills lined with red coasters and slides, intertwining, as if making them look as dangerous as possible was what made this park so daring and fun. The sidewalk sparkled as if glitter was mixed into the cement when the construction workers were mixing it. Ah construction workers, what dangerous fiends. Every time i turned my head to look around, I would take one more glance at my friend in hopes that i would at least be able to determine their gender. No luck. All i knew was that i felt very close to this friend and that i would probably even hold their hands while we took a dive to our death to escape the late night security if we had to, and who knows, we might. As we came upon a cave i noticed how much detail had been flowing through the cave. Colors galore. It was as if i was looking at all the other boxes on my old 90s television and i could see this cave in a shiny new HD picture, i knew that my next move had something to do with this cave. I willingly walked very close to the cave and found my self mesmerized by it. It was a blueish gray rock with artificially colored bright green moss and vines strung everywhere, like a jungle cave. There were large colored snakes hanging from the ceiling, not real ones, they were large stuffed ones, with big bulging eyes and red felt tongue, like the really cheap kinds that you would win from a super trashy booth at the fair. After wasting eight dollars on four throws of rings at glass bottles you only win a one dollar prize, that kind. So there were plenty of these snakes, all different sizes and five different colors. There were the main ones hanging from the roof, being blue and red, and there were the smaller sized ones all over the floor which were green, yellow and purple. I noticed all of this as me and my best friend were walking closer to the cave, once we were practically in the mouth of the cave i noticed that there were snakes slithering everywhere underneath all of the fake ones. I HATED SNAKES! In this dream i definitely hated snakes. I decided that we would be better off just turning around and heading toward the gate, but for some reason i knew that our main objective was in the depths of that cave. What was it? Were we going to find a dead body, or real pirate treasure, or maybe even a secret tunnel, leading us safely out of the park. I really had no idea, so i grabbed one of the long red snakes off of the ground, and as i did so i heard footsteps creeping towards me with the speed of a lone man slowly making his monotonous nightly patrol, down the same path that he probably walks every night. I turned around and saw a flashlight scoping different things, looking for movement, not very intently, but at least he was looking. So i had a short amount of time, and i knew that i needed to get those snakes down so that i could at least see through the cave. I began whipping the stuffed snakes down from the roof, one by one curling my weapon around each one. When i was finished i pulled out my flashlight(where did i get a flashlight) and shined it into the cave, there were no snakes. Not live snakes at least. What was revealed to me in the cave was a large, eight foot tall statue of a lion, it looked solid, like either stone or wood, but what did i know. As my friend walked around it to examine it i reached my hand toward him/her and grabbed the lion on his/her side. There was strangely a large open hollow in the lions chest! Right as i was discovering this two security guard lights shined on my back, i did not see the lights, i sensed them. I quickly whirled the lion around to see what master prize was inside and as i began to grab as many packs of starburst and gummi life savers from the lion's bosom as i could, the officers raced closer at an incredible speed, it was as if they were flying over all of the rides and had nothing in their way. My friend frantically helped me grab the candy treasure while shouting quietly and excitedly "We will survive, we can survive now, they can't stop us, we made it, we will survive! we can survive now." My friend continued to repeat this a few more times until the guards were in the mouth of the cave trying to coax us out. When i looked in the back of the cave i saw that there was a tunnel to the left that the shadow of the lion had been blocking before the guard bright lights had shined in. I decided that since the snakes had probably run that way, that i was going to have to expect a dangerous encounter when i ran for it. The thing was, i loved my friend, we were always there for each other, in my dream of course, and as my friend began walking toward the officers, i walked forward and handed myself in also, without a fight. The guards were police officers, not guards. "We payed to get in" i said as they dragged me forward, void of emotion, toward the evil dark hills. "We got stamps when we came in, we just couldn't find our way out when it closed, really!" i said as i began to grow angry when the officers did not even try to hear my side of the story. "Then i guess we will just check your wrists under the black light when we get to the booth" said both of the officers in one voice, in a way that i knew only one had spoken, but i somehow could not tell which one. As they dragged me onward, I only had two thoughts in my head, one being that i was glad that i could be there for my buddy, and the second one being that we needed to find a way out of this crazy situation, before the police scanned their wrists only to find that nothing was there. Maybe i could tell them that the stamp was washed off from riding the water rides, i thought in detail about this as i slowly drifted out of sleep.

I don't know i hope my strange dreams had some effect, if not laughter, astonishment or just the happiness of reading something magical. Thanks for reading, i would love a comment on my blog, some feedback. :)
-August

Bad Dream, Horrible Even.

2009-01-10T02:06:00.000-05:00

Click this link to download the PDF version of this to read, print, or upload onto a portable reading device! HORRIBLE DREAM.PDF
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REVISED Jan - 16 - 09
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My dream,

It starts out with me just in my college cafeteria, except instead of the long counter that the chefs throw food over, there is a large stage tangled with massive vines. There is a spot light shining on the stage, but the empty circle is not circular because it is interrupted by the branches of the tree. The tree stretches upward too high for me to see in my dream controlled body. I am just myself, eating with faceless kids, each seated a few feet apart from me, each eating their food and not talking, the room is quiet. What is this new stage for, and where did those kids get their food? I want some food too! I just sit and look around. I see the windows frosted over. Oh, that is why the vines are in our building, it is too cold and they would have surely frozen over and died if they were out in the campus yard. Well i cannot just ignore this and wait for spring to eat again, i need to survive. I sit and an hour or two passes by while i try to think of a new way to survive, after all i am an engineering student, should i not be able to find another way to survive? I surely should. Just then i turn around because i sense, i do not hear them, but i sense my grand parents walking in the front doors, which are usually locked and just made to leave from the inside out, so i am not sure how they managed to weasel their way in. What? My grandpa is healthy! He is walking, and not even with a cane! How did he manage to get up the steps without using his walker at approximately point five miles per hour!? I have no idea, but i am proud of him and i am so happy that i look at my grandmother and as our eyes meet she makes a face that tells me "Yes August, grandpa finally fought off his weakness and is getting better and he is not going to die any time soon and he will be gardening all summer, and he will be collecting sticks for you and your friends to have campfires again, and he will be doing crosswords and watching the price is right with me instead of sleeping!" I am ecstatic that i can have him as my grandfather for a few more years, and i do not even have to watch him waste away slowly losing a pound a day as he got sicker and sicker. I can actually maybe play catch with him in the backyard, although i have only done that once before. As i peer around my grandmother i see my grandfather sit at the lunch table and smile his big warm grandfatherly smile at some of the students and clack his dentures out of his mouth to get a laugh from as many as he could. I hug my grandmother because i want to share my happiness and relief. What is this? Even better, my grandfather is eating a steak, he is killing it and ripping it apart like a five year old with a giant puff of cotton candy. He can chew steak again! And swallow it, and love the taste of it. I walk a few feet forward to give my grandpa a proper greeting. He stands up, no problem, not taking as much as a few seconds to boost himself up. He steps easily over the bench seat, which is also strange because only my middle school had actual colored benches like the ones in my dream, and he opens his arms to give me a nice sturdy hug. He was happy that he would be able to live longer, and maybe even die painlessly some day far away in his sleep on the same night as his wife. Wouldn't that be amazing, to watch your grandchildren grow all the way up, and then leave this earth only when ready, not leaving your wife behind. He embraces me like any grandfather would, proud that i am in college and happy that i am growing up healthy. As i hug him though, he begins to put extra pressure on my back and starts pulling me down. i look at my grandmother, wearing the saddest mask of a face, as if she had just won the lottery and lost the ticket at the same time. His back started hunching forward and his legs grew wobbly, and he looked like he was scared, scared of falling, scared that he was slipping back to weakness, scared of death, scared to leave before he was ready. He looked so, so sad. As his weight, although withering as i held him, was becoming more and more purely supported by my tiny arms, i lowered him closer and closer to the ground. I frantically looked between my grandparents’ faces begging them with my facial expressions to give me some instruction on what to do next. They could not see me, i was invisible. All they could see was each other, as my grandmother silently reminisced and said goodbye to my grandpa.

This was a very sad dream to wake up from seeing as how my grandfather is so weak and ill in the real world now. My grandpa has a chance to survive, it's just really hard to have hope when you are so sick and weak, when eating is almost painful. I am praying for him to get better, it would be great if you would pray also. I hope this story has not upset anyone too much.
-August

The Most Boring Woods

2009-01-10T02:04:00.001-05:00

Ok so if you want to download the PDF version of this story for reading, printing or to upload it onto a portable reading device, go for it: The Most Boring Woods.PDF

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Here lies a short story:

Prologue

The leaves were almost all gone and the skies were stitched with grays and light blues through the bare branches of the woods. These specific woods were not full of bears, they were not in the mountains, and they were not nearly as dangerous as most other woods; not usually at least. August Yadon happened to live at the edge of these nearly boring woods and had, many times, adventured through them with no intentions at all other than hopefully finding some small thing to hold his attention as well as any friends who had been with him on his current adventure. One friend that had been with him during most every adventure was his brother, Andrew, who was a year younger and, was just as skinny and lanky as him, and just like his brother, had no job, no new video games, no constructive activities that he could be wasting his time doing.
On one of the most boring days that had occurred all autumn the boys invited their best friend Jordan over.
"What is there to even do?" said Jordan as he lay bored out of his mind on his bed staring at all the different posters and trash lying around his bedroom and sprawled across his walls. Jordan realized that maybe he did not want to be laying in his room alone, and that maybe he would like to go to the Yadon's house even if all they did was lay on beds there and marvel at blank ceilings while imagining amazingly fun things they could be doing. In fact Jordan liked that idea a bit, not the thought of laying in a bed daydreaming, but the daydream itself. Jordan thought more about this adventure that they could be going on and nearly salivated imagining their day ending with a chest full of golden treasures or possibly they would find a giant squid in the near by village reservoir. Maybe this squid has been injecting poisonous venom into the soil which has caused everyone who lives by the reservoir to be irreversibly mentally effected by these venom and pass the effects onto their children. And maybe the three boys would work together to heave a lance, sharpened of course, into the reservoir, thereby killing the monstrous creature and putting an end to the small towns growing retardation problem.
"I don't know we could skate or something" August suggested as he ripped Jordan's wonderful daydream violently away from him. Jordan sat up in his bed and let the blood rush subside before he answered August's previous question.

Chapter 1

When Jordan had his step-dad drop him off August and Andrew heard Jordan say "Ok Bob, I don't know WHAT TIME! I'll BE HOME WHEN I GET HOME!" as he proceeded to slam the door of the old rusting blue truck. The front yard was as bland as the rest of the town, just rusty-green grass, little landscaping, and gray skies. Jordan walked up to the plain house lankily as if he had been a midget that had recently recieved leg-extension surgery and has not yet gotten used to the new height. It was true, Jordan was hitting a growth spurt, they all were. They were at the point where the size of their bodies did not match their personalities, speaking in terms of maturity of course. When Andrew and August got within greeting range of their friend they explained to him how they wanted to explore the woods for no reason at all. They just thought that exploring was a cool concept. No, they did not expect to actually find anything, not anything worth getting excited for at least, they just wanted to go in the woods and get out of control. Somehow these boys got out of control in any situation. Heck, they could find a way to get out of control in a straight jacket! In a straight jacket hanging upside down in a shark tank! So out of control that the sharks would be so deeply offended by the boys actions that they would not want to take a bite of such disgusting creatures, and they would swim away. Other than that obscure vision, there was no good side to the boys trouble making, no good side other than the stories they could re-produce over and over, to everyone of the events that were the outcome of their out-of-control adventures.
"Let's check that house out, no one's in it probably." August said, as he walked through the woods towards a small group of new houses that were being built on the street that bordered another section of the woods. As the boys walked through the woods the trees moved back, one by one, unveiling the truth that was that the house was not completely uninhabited. There was but one single man working on the new house in progress. Usually the boys would find these half built houses completely empty, giving them a chance to walk through them, finding nails, wood, old ripped out pages from porn magazines. This time there was this robotic looking man pounding in different sheets of metal and nails into the roof of this half done house. This man was not just a construction worker, he was massive beast of a construction worker. He did not seem to be affected much by the huge muscles radiating from every bone in his body; he actually looked like he could handle the muscles that he was wielding better than the boys could handle their backpack on the way to the bus stop. He seemed to be moving around as agilely as the skinny Yadon boys but lifting massive pieces of wood like they were made of Styrofoam.
"HEY!" Andrew yelled for absolutely no reason other than to see if the man on the bare roof would turn to look. He did. For a brief moment that man wanted to know who had shrieked from the woods. And what? Was he checking to see if it was a damsel in distress? Well, i suppose puberty was plaguing the boys at that point in the their lives, but no, i doubt he actually believed that a woman was behind him, shouting for help. Could he be checking to see if the boys were threatening him? That was more plausible, but like i said, their voices were not the most threatening sound at that point in their manhood. Maybe he was checking to see if a neighbor needed his help.
Yea, a neighbor. Maybe he was being too loud and he needed to work on the roof on a day when the man next door's favorite show was not on. And maybe this neighbor would be glad that the man was so co-operative, because of course the man would take a break for this kind old fellow who needed to hear the T.V. a little more than the rest of the members of the neighborhood. Maybe the man's co-operativity would impress the neighbor so much so that he would invite the man in for a break. And maybe this neighbor would have "Celestial Seasons" raspberry tea, the man's favorite brand and flavor of tea. He loved the way that the flavor mixed a fruity zing with a manly woodsy taste, like the combination of berries and a long drag of the manliest cigar that ever existed. The man suddenly had a horrible craving to go into the neighbor's house and drink some of that wonderful tea while conversing with his new found buddy about why his favorite football team is such a horrible choice, but that his college choice, is definitely a great choice because Ohio State just beats everyone else in division one universities, hands down. They do live in Ohio state after all, so why would the men not be able to both share the love for a team that is affiliated with the state that both of them live in. And then the man would eventually forgive the neighbor after four of five cups of tea, and tell him that he understands why the man still loves his old states team, moving here based on his son's new accomplishment of becoming enrolled in Ohio State college. It is so great that this wonderful neighbor at least did not move from Michigan, that is why the man can handle this new neighbor.

To his dismay, when the construction worker turned around all he saw were three nasty teenage boys with an appetite for havoc of others private lives and property. His excited smirk, which did not fit his robotic personality, instantly relaxed into a neutral face, almost a frown. The boys couldn't tell, all they could see was a bulky man who turned around and, after that, did not seem to give two shits about what the boys actually wanted. The boys chuckled a bit, amused by their stupidity and Andrew's daring mouth, ready to shout anything they commanded it to.
Jordan looked at Andrew and urged "Do it again, do it again, yell at that guy up there!" The boys yelled again and the man did not even budge, he just kept wildly slamming his tools, metal on metal pushing wood against wood. The man seemed to be ignoring them and deep in concentration of this ignoring as the boys continued shouting borderline rude greetings at the man.
"You! Hey! MAN! CONSTRUCTION WORKER!" the boys shouted separately as if out of their boredom sprang a new mission, a mission to make this construction worker stand straight in front of them and take every command that he was dealt with the intention of following them to the very literal last syllable, as exact as Amelia Bedilia herself. The man now finally turned around and looked at them, STARED at them, as if his eyes were laser beams and he was just waiting for the right second to lift his secret contact lenses and unveil such an enormous blast of light that he wanted to make sure his beams hit their targets. The boys took off like dogs who just caught scent of a party of leg-less squirrels rolling around in barbecue sauce. They ran fast, trying to keep their tongues in their mouths as they contorted their faces with exploding grimaces whose loud bursts of what they call laughter were falling out in whichever direction they decided to turn their bobbling heads. They weaved through the woods back to the house that they knew they could find safety in.
The boys thought that it was so hilarious that they got the construction worker irritated enough to take a good long look at them, but it was, on the contrary, very serious to the man. He was not about to let these trashy kids get away with all of their smart-ass yelling at him. He wanted to know who these kids were so that he could tell his son's not to hangout with them, because if he had found out that his son had a smart-ass mouth like that he would slap his boy's face so that his head would spin around and come back straight on his neck. The man wanted to follow the boys, just to see where they live, and possibly stop them and tell them what the hell was wrong with the way they are going around harassing people for no reason. The man did not run, he walked through the woods, far enough behind that he could see the boys go in their house just as it came into view. He got angry that he lost his chance to set these little brats straight. What if one of his boys were to play with these assholes, he would not even know it. He loved his boys, but if they were going to play with these bad kids then he was sure that some face slapping would be involved somewhere along the line, and he was not about to sit back and wait for his children to learn that lesson by experience. He thrust his body through the woods like a bulldozer with no respect for the trees that he was imagining himself rip out of the ground, for venting purposes, to get to that house and tell those kids how horribly screwed up they are, and to hopefully piss off their parents enough that all parents involved will feel mutual about not letting their kids play with these foul mouthed boys. By the time the man had made it to the house he had cooled off enough, due to his mental venting, to re-think his plan, he decided that these kids were too trashy for his kids to ever want to be friends with them anyway.
"What the hell are you boys doing?" Mr. Yadon asked, watching from the couch as the three boys held curtains nearly shut, leaving a small, centimeter thick slit for all three of them to watch the man approach. As the man got closer the laughs became chuckles, and soon the chuckles became smirks. The man stopped about fifty feet behind the lump of lumber that the boys called a former half-pipe in their back yard. This man looked around, seeming to only look at the stuff that was junk, eyeing it, almost as if it was a relief to see that the boys backyard had plenty of trash, which in their opinion was NOT TRASH and it had much value. The half-pipe was fine and would be built back as soon as they had time to rebuild it. It had already been there for three years, two of which it was un-ridable, why would they get rid of it at this point when it had nearly been finished? Although the boys had no idea why he had stopped, they were glad that the man had not come all the way to the house and made a whole mess of the situation with their parents.
"It was nothing" August managed to blurt through their final burst of relieved laughter. The dad had known the boys were bored and did not question what they were doing because he assumed that it was somehow involved with woodland creatures and them meeting their demise by running into three of the most dangerous young men in these safe, boring woods.

Chapter 2

"What is that thing?" Jordan inquired with a smirk on his face as August revealed a ridiculous jean vest that looked like it was not even cool in it's own time.
"I don't even know why we have it. It's been in our closet for a while." August told Jordan, as if that would give Jordan any more reason to want to wear it. Jordan imagined the vest being purchased over the summer at a garage sale by Mrs. Yadon on the last hour of the sale. He imagined then that the mother had haggled the price down to a mere dime because the seller knew that it took up more space than it was worth and every second that she had displayed it in her own driveway was more second that she was embarrassed to have such a disgusting jean vest in her presence, with its worn metal buttons that shed so much copper that when you pinched each quarter sized button together enough copper would rub off that you could smell the metallic scent just by holding your hand a foot away from your nostrils. And the interior. There is so much to say about that interior. The lamb that was skinned to make the interior of that jacket should have lived, it would have been more useful for that lamb to escape and die in the wilderness only to fertilize plants with its decomposing body. Then those plants would give off oxygen, and that small amount of oxygen in the world, even if it was not breathed by that sales woman, was worth more to her than the jean vest could ever mean. How did this woman run into such a vest? she could have sold her soul for a million dollars and then gambled it away, and when the demon came to collect her, maybe he decided that she would suffer more thoroughly if she were plagued to have this damned garage sale until the day that someone would buy that specific vest. maybe Mrs. Yadon had freed this wicked deal-making woman from her hell-on-earth. Maybe now she will be free or maybe this sales woman would just stop her earth suffering and be killed only to go to true hell to suffer for many more years selling wool lined vests to demons along rivers of magma.
Jordan did not know why this vest was in the Yadon's possession but he decided that, with the curly, medium-length, brunette wig on the top shelf, the vest would be a hilarious costume. The boys took off through the woods with their clothes fully attached except for Jordan who wore only the hideous wool-lined jean vest, camo shorts, and a silly brown wig. The Yadons had on their tight pants and band tees. The boys were looking forward to harassing an innocent man, especially with Jordan's new outfit.
As August took the lead Andrew followed right behind with Jordan lagging less than two feet behind him. When the boys had made it to an opening in the woods they decided not to walk straight out into it, in case the roof-nailing man were to still be angry. The boys quickly found a nice round rising of earth which hoisted them up high enough to be seen from the roof of the house, which had been about 200 feet away. The boys began by yelling "Hey" and "WOOOOooOOOoOooO" in high pitched womanly voices. This was a terrible thing for the boys to do, could they not see that the man was in no mood to be harassed by children? And on top of that he was desperately thirsty for a nice big mug of tea! No. They did not know how the man felt. That is why the man kept on ignoring them. "What will that prove, if I give in to their little games?" thought the man, as he continued to work on his beautiful roof. "How will that benefit me at all if I teach those boys how to respect their elders?" No. The man did not want the boys to learn from him, the huge man wanted the boys to do something illegal so that he could bring the law into the picture and then what could they do? What were they going to do? Probably something horrific, something that a simple minded neighborly townsman could never think up, not unless he was completely wasted with the guys watching the Sunday night game. A man like this man would never be able to think of the revenge these boys would try to pull if he did not get the law involved, and tried to handle it himself. They could...poop on his mailbox, or worse, they could...poop in his mailbox! He could not stand to think anymore about the boys' nasty plans for sabotaging his life. As he snapped out of his deep thoughts he heard Andrew yell some profanities such as "Hey MAN! You want a piece of this?! Come get me HONEY!" What kind of a sick joke are these boys attempting to play here? Not even they know. August Wonders if there is possibly anything that could occupy him more than this right now and fails to think of anything that he would rather be doing than messing with a man twice as big as all three of the boys combined.
"CHASE ME BIG BOY!" Andrew shouted at the top of his lungs as he was commanded to by Jordan who was laughing hysterically under his ridiculously stupid wig and vest. Andrew then removed his pants just low enough to reveal his disgustingly pale cheeks which were pointing straight for the man on the roof. Despite their immature stupidity, the boys felt in total control of the situation. The man must be on a schedule, he must not have time to stop and chat, he must be so busy that he could not even come down that ladder to scare the boys away. If the man were to try to scare them away they would scurry away and find some new victim to mess with. They continued to taunt and harass the man until they thought he had tuned them out completely. It was nearly boring again in these bare-treed, average-temperature woods.

Chapter 3

As the man set his foot on the ground he shuffled the leaves beneath him, and as he spun to place his other foot on the ground the leaves tore and ripped as if they were only a demonstration of what the man was planning on doing to the boys. The boys stood there as if nothing was wrong and when they saw that the man was all the way down they decided to quickly dance out of the woods chuckling as if they had just successfully executed the funniest joke, wooing the crowd, and now could stand to relax and take a laugh at the joke for themselves. When they saw the man's face everything went red and distorted for the boys as if the boys were seeing everything through bright red Christmas bulbs. They took off as fast as they could push themselves when Andrew screamed "HOLY CRAP HE'S RUNNING!" and Jordan added " He's haulin' ass!" The boys had no choice but to dart through the woods with no aim other than hopefully outrunning the man or throwing the him off.
They made it to an opening where a road passed through the woods, a road that would normally be just as boring as the woods themselves. But not today. Today there was a crazed man, red in the face from exerting as much possible force as he could from his legs into the shifting earth under him to move faster than the boys with the highest priority of catching them. He wanted to catch them, oh, he would love to catch them. And do what with them? well like he said before, he would have to hold them until the police could get there. Maybe he would get them for some random charge like public indecency for showing their butts. But no, only one of them did that, there must be a law against shouting profanities! Disorderly Conduct! Yes that was it, he could charge them all with that! They were all in on it together, accomplices!But there was a minor bumb in his plan..."Could he hold off on killing them long enough to get the police there?" He thought as one leg mimicked the other shooting like cannon balls into the ground below. The man was glad because he knew that building houses keeps a person in much better shape than doing drugs and smoking and laying around the house, which is what he knew these boys must spend there days doing. He was so excited that he would finally close in on the boys as he saw them beginning to tire. He himself decided that with the work he intends to finish when he gets back, he better not tire himself out. So he slowed with the boys, still taking full strides, power-walking you might call it.
"He's right behind us!" Jordan frantically shouted from a few feet behind Andrew who, in turn was a few more feet behind August. The boys had nearly gone mad with their fear of what the man would try to do if he caught them that they shot back to a full sprint. As the boys pushed their bodies to their most extreme speeds again after already tiring out, they felt the lactic acid pour through their legs and into their sides constricting their muscles causing almost unbearable pain while trying to run. As August looked back he saw that the man was walking! And not slowly either, he was walking nearly as fast as the boys were running. He looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Terminator", emotionless, painless, on a mission to kill, that was his only mission to eventually get his hands on the boys and kill them. The man was just pissed now, they had to be half a mile away from his house-building site and still moving faster than he could afford to follow if he wanted to keep working. He saw the bigger kid fall! Wait, did he see the bigger kid fall? It seemed to be too slow for a fall, and then where was he? His head was peering over a stump less than a hundred feet away. The man heard the boy slop some form of a sentence out of his mouth! As if the man needed the boys to taunt him some more! These were some daring boys to still be shouting things at the man! He was passed pissed, he was set to kill mode. He took off sprinting toward the boys, in the best shape of his life and not giving up any time soon. he was leaned forward in his air ripping stride closing in far too quickly for the boys to ever escape. He knew this was it, he was about to taste the sweet blood of these evil children and put an end to their smart-ass mockery for good.

Chapter 4

"Jordan we can't stop and apologize!" August yelled back at Jordan while temporarily slowing down, as if that would help Jordan get up from behind the stump and run faster. Jordan replied, out of breath, "we're sorry! We're sorry!" but his words were hardly understandable from where August was standing. How could the man possibly have understood his apology? If the man did happen to hear that Jordan was shouting apologies, what reason would he have to stop at this point, more than a half a mile from their starting point in the woods?
"He is not stopping! Come on, we have to keep running" August nervously yelled, anxiously coaxing Jordan to get up and run for his life.
"But I can't run as much as you guys can! I'm not skinny like you guys!" Jordan said desperately trying to find a way out of the situation as if his convincing August of his inability to run any further would somehow prevent the man from coming any closer to any of them. Jordan got up, seeing no other option but to trudge through the pain of side aches and sore leg muscles. As all three boys ran further through the woods they were so frightened by the man's stoic face that they grew extremely paranoid. Was the man gaining? Should he have caught them by now? He is reserving his energy for when he will catch them so that he can beat the living snot out of each of them. Jordan caught up just as the man got within talking range. The man was right on their tails.They shot out at full speed once again. At the intense speed they were moving a groundhog could have watched them from his hole and related them to a train with three main cars, four empty cars, and then one massive caboose trailing closely behind. The man was getting closer, and quickly.
The boys realized that they had no chance running any further because August would be second to pass out right after Jordan and soon followed by Andrew. As August grew dizzy he looked around for other options. This was the type of thing he was good at, escaping horribly tight situations, and he was not about to waste that talent today. CORN, August saw a thick wall of corn like a row of solid soldiers, lined up and ready to take criticisms from their commanding officer. August quickly waved at Andrew and Jordan to follow him as fast as they could because he was sure he would find their final escape. He knew if this crazed berserk man had found himself lost with no idea which direction the boys were running he would have a chance to cool down. By the look on the man's face, as August Jumped through the thick columns of corn, August could tell that the man had no intention of stopping until he had bulldozed every single tree in search of the boys.
The boys instantly saw what could be a possible escape. It was as if they could read each other's minds, the way they all darted into the tall grass. The boys ran about fifty feet out into the grass that stood like a liquid four feet off the ground. The boys dove into it as if their lives depended on the speed at which they could each hit the ground through the sheet of grass. August decided that it would be a great time to pray. August believed that if they prayed to ask for forgiveness and ask not to be harmed by this man that God would be merciful on them and steer the man away. So August prayed silently. They were invisible now, they had to be invisible right? It sure looked like a great cover when they all first spotted it, but now it seemed sort of revealing. Actually this covering felt so bare, it felt like a dream, a dream where they all forgot to where clothes to the mall and it just so happened that all of the teachers from their school worked at this particular mall. And in this dream the teachers had all noticed that the three boys were standing naked behind a small kiosk all at the same time. Not only were the boys extremely embarrassed in this dream but they knew that this would get them into deep trouble as well. That dream. Feeling of safety dripped away from them along with their stomaches slowly being pulled more forcefully toward the earth each second; each step closer the insane man came.

Chapter 5

Out the man burst from the golden stalks, barreling straight toward the boys, who were now flat on their bellies and completely defenseless, partially due to their physical position and mostly due to how exhausted they were from running what seemed like several miles in under 20 minutes. The rage was overflowing in the man's eyes. It was glowing, anyone could have understood what his eyes were telling them. He was out to kill, not to teach a lesson, not to seek guidance for the kids, not even to get them into a heap of trouble via the town's authorities, he only wanted to violently rip the children's limbs apart from their bodies. The boys thought about jumping up and running, but Jordan, for one, could not run another inch, how could he possibly jump up and then run? As the man got closer his eyes seemed to get redder and more strained, his muscles were pulsing with each step that contacted the hard earth. This was the end of the boys, they were about to be killed in the middle of an open, boring field. This field was even more boring than the woods! The man was thirty yards away. They should have just died in the woods. Twenty yards. But today this horribly boring field was about to be colored with a fabulous crimson red blood. Eighteen yards. The blood would splash across some corn, possibly giving the plants nutrients and a vibrant new look which was sure to draw deer in for a taste of what they might believe are a new berry growing in the area. Only twelve yards away. The deer would gain plenty of nutrition from the boys young blood.
What just happened though?! The man was not throwing himself through the air as fast as he was before. Ten yards away. In fact he was definitely slowing down. Yes there was, for sure a stable decceleration happening, and the man was not sure which way to shoot his massive body. The man actually came to a complete stop about seven yards away from the boys and scanned the area. He looked down at the ground, he was tired. He was actually so tired that his rage began to subside. He thought about what he was just doing, and decided to settle down just a little bit. He thought "At least I need to catch those boys and tell them what they were doing wrong, I can't have them spread rumors about how they thought I was chasing them wildly through the woods!" He looked in all directions, he could see a road in the distance over a wide field of medium-height grass. The man carefully scanned the road to see if the boys were running back towards town on the road. They were not. He looked toward the forest to see if he could spot the boys hiding behind a stump again. He did not see anything, and the sun was setting. How stupid would he feel if the next shift of construction workers came to the house only to find the man wandering out of the woods in the middle of the evening? He had to choose something quick, and go with it.
The man began walking in the only direction that he had no view of, because that was the only place left to look, right? The boys felt their blood almost tearing out of their bodies at every elbow and knee, as if the blood was racing too fast through their bodies, trying to carry the adrenaline to every brain cell and muscle before the final moments when the boys would have to physically fight for their lives. Their pulses slowed, leaving a weak, numb feeling. What a horrible feeling, weakness. Weakness was overcome by excitement as the boys watched the man fade into the sunset far away as he began his new journey back through the woods. The boys rolled onto their backs and let out the longest most enjoyable sighs that they had ever had a chance to let escape their lungs. They took a second to make sure that the man was far enough away and then they all looked at each other. They waited one more second before bursting into uncontrollable laughter and frantically relaying every detail that had gone through their heads as they were running. The boys were so happy that they had narrowly escaped death, in fact they were more happy that they had so narrowly escaped death than they would be if they never would have been threatened by the man's rage in the first place.
The boys spent what felt like a half hour talking about the new insane adventure they had just expirienced. "How many teenagers have such crazy adventures?" August asked excited that they would now have a brand new story to relay to all their not-so-daring friends in school. The boys eventually forced themselves to stand up, paranoid that the man was hiding in a tree, like a hunter waiting for his game to creep right into shooting range. The three boys decided to finally head back to the house.
On the roof, pounding away again, was the man. Alone, still hammering something into that roof. He was back to his solid, unemotional self again. August, feeling that they had won the duel, decided to kick a rock mockingly in the general direction of the construction worker. He did not turn around. In fact he purposely ignored it. He remembered the reasons that he had to move his family the last time his rage had gotten away from him. He could not afford to get angry again, not at such young people. After a minute or two he turned around and looked for the boys in the woods, and he saw nothing at all. The man was glad that the boys had left and decided that it was best to just leave it at that.
The boys had won, but hopefully the man had left an imprint of an enraged missle accelerating toward them in the form of a man angry for blood, and hopefully this permanent memory would teach the boys a lesson to respect their elders. Hopefully...the man thought, the boys would not disregaurd the whole event, believing that outsmarting the huge man meant that they never had to respect another elder again. No, the man knew that the boys had a new found respect for all adults, especially adults who were in much better shape than them.
"Hey Howk" another man shouted, arriving in a blue truck with one passenger, both men looking like they were about to examine how the house building had went for the day.

Epilogue

"Holy crap! I cannot believe that we were almost killed today! I can't wait to tell everyone about this adventure!" August said as the boys all stood on the front lawn. They were on the front lawn discussing the recent exploration because they knew that their father would not approve of their actions if he overheard them talking about it. As the boys continued to passionately re-tell the story, back and forth, to each other a blue truck had stopped right in front of the boys' house. The boys turned quickly toward the truck to see what the driver wanted. As the window slowly, mechanically squeaked down, the man inside said in a gruff tone "You three, look like the boys in the woods." The boys stood frozen, as Mr. Howk made eye contact with each one of them, holding their stares, as if he was gaining valuable information from them while doing so. Eventually, he got no answer. He turned forward and drove down the road. The muffler produced smoke that drifted up toward the usually boring, starless sky, that was floating over the usually boring town.

Concluding Statements from the Author?

This story was based on actual events that happened when me and Jordan were sophomores in high school and Andrew was in 8th grade.I wrote this short story, out of boredom, and after reading pastoralia, wanting to write something; to express something. If it makes you happy, then I am glad, if not, then I am sorry that you chose to waste your time reading this piece of crap.Don't think of us as horrible people, we did not do things like this very often. On second thought, i made up all of the characters and this never happened...
-August